What's in a year?

Lately I have been thinking about the new year in a different way. People identify with years according to big things that happened that year. For example, you may hear someone say, "That was the year I got married, had a kid, bought a house, etc." That was one day out of the year but it was one day that affected the rest of their lives.

This year I had one of those days and one of those years. On September 26, 2010 my dad lost his battle with cancer. 2010 will now, for the rest of my life, be referred to as the year my dad passed away. This has been single handedly the hardest years of my life. As happy as I am that this year is over and tonight begins a new year, I am having some mixed emotions about it.

2011 will be the first year that my dad has not lived on this earth. I have to face this year without my counselor, dad, hero, friend, support, and all the love and encouragement he brought. This year I will be turning 30. I never ever imagined celebrating my birthday without my dad there. Elam will be 5 this year and start kindergarten. I never imagined dad not seeing his first school picture or Eden getting to go to Sheridan's with her Poppy. Although I am thankful my dad is no longer suffering and this year is over. I am anxious about living without him. I feel like I am leaving him behind in a sense.

I know this is all part of the grieving process but lets be honest, it sucks. There is nothing that can bring him back and nothing that could ever replace him. I miss him terribly every day. I have cried every day since August when we found out his condition was terminal. The holidays were especially difficult and for some reason New Years was just as difficult as Christmas for me. I am thankful I had such an amazing dad that I have reasons to miss him so much.

So 2010, you were hard but I survived. 2011, You WILL be better and I will be victorious. Dad, I love you forever, I love you always, as long as I am living my daddy you will be!

More than a word

As I was reading my bible this morning, I came across James 2:5.

James 2:5 (MSG) says: Listen, dear friends, isn't it clear by now that God operates quite differently? He chose the world's down and out as the kingdom's first citizens, with full rights and privileges. This kingdom is promised to anyone who loves God.

What really hit me about this verse was the last part, which says "This kingdom is promised to anyone who loves God."

Now that sounds so simple. You love God and you receive His kingdom. Then I started thinking: Okay so what does the God say love is?

In 1 Corinthians 13 (also called the love chapter) It says LOVE IS PATIENT, LOVE IS KIND, IT DOES NOT ENVY, IT DOES NOT BOAST, IT IS NOT PROUD, IT DOES NOT DISHONOR OTHERS, IT IS NOT SELF-SEEKING, IT IS NOT EASILY ANGERED, IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS, IT DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL BUT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH. IT ALWAYS PROTECTS, ALWAYS TRUSTS, ALWAYS HOPES, ALWAYS PERSEVERES.

So here it is. The ultimate definition of LOVE. Let's go back and look at the verse in James again. "This kingdom is promised to anyone who LOVES God."

I started replacing the word Love here with what 1 Corinthians says Love is and it really challenges me to take a closer look at my life. Here are a few examples:

This kingdom is promised to anyone who is patient with God. - Am I patient with God's timing, even when it isn't mine or what I would like?

This kingdom is promised to anyone who is kind with God - Am I kind to others the way God would be? Am I kind to God in how I choose to live my life and represent him?

This kingdom is promised to anyone who does not dishonor others. - Do I do my best to honor other's wishes and honor God's wishes? Do I live my life to honor His word? To exemplify who He is so that others see Him and not me? Do I honor my husband by listening to him and working on the things he has asked of me, not because he is asking and I HAVE TO submit to him, but because I love him and want only the best for him? Some people do things because the feel they HAVE TO submit to their husbands because the Bible says and it is done out of guilt and obligation rather than love and respect. Sometimes they treat God the same way. They do things or don't do things out of guilt and obligation towards God instead of out of freedom, love, and respect for Him.

This kingdom is promised to anyone who is not self seeking. - It happens all the time in the corporate world. People are so self seeking they will stab each other in the back if it means climbing up the ladder faster. What you don't realize is, this isn't just a corporate situation. It happens in the church world, mom world, political world, etc. It happens everywhere because we are all human and some of us are self seeking. The Bible says in Matthew 20: 28 "just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" We are to serve others and in turn serve God. Serving others is about 3 things. 1. When something is asked of you, put your desires aside. 2. Simply doing what is asked of you as long as it's in line with God's word of course. 3. The attitude that you have while doing what was asked of you. The Bible says we should serve one another with joy and out of love as if we were serving God himself. Why does this say this? Because in essence, by serving others and representing God's love, we are serving God.

This kingdom is promised to anyone who ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres. - Am I protecting the things of God? Am I trusting in His ways even when I don't understand the why? Am I putting my hope in Him? Am I persevering when life throws something at me? Then we could look at this for our marriage or with our children. Am I protecting my husband/wife/children? Do I trust them and put hope in them? Do we persevere when times are tough and work together? This verse does say ALWAYS ,which in pre-marital counseling, you are told never to use words like that in an argument, so why is this? Well the reason is that we should strive for this with everything in us but we will fail at times because we are human and that is where Grace and forgiveness comes in. However, the Bible says that God is Love, Love never fails, and love ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, and ALWAYS perseveres.

So here it is, today take time to really focus on what Love is. Love isn't just a word we say because we are related to someone, in a relationship, or have children. It is much more than that. When we say I love you to God or to someone, I am saying. I want to show you patience, kindness, selflessness, protect you, trust you, hope in/with you, persevere in/with you. Then, after saying it, follow through with your actions. As DC talk says: love is a verb.