Recognize and Walk

Today I am feeling so overwhelmingly blessed I have to write about it so I don't forget. It's the little things in life that we need to recognize as blessings but so often we are distracted by life's storms or busy that we don't see them.

I have the honor of teaching a pre school-kinder class at our church. Really I say I teach but often times the kids teach me. There is a reason why God's word says we should have faith like a child. Children do not put limits on God. If God's word says it, then they believe it and it's as simple as that. They aren't so jaded by life's disappointments and hurt that they have even the idea that someone could possibly not follow through. They trust God and His Word beyond a shadow of a doubt.

We have been learning all about Super Friends the last few weeks. Super friends help each other, love everyone, stick together, and watch what they say. We talk about how our words are powerful and we have the ability to build someone up or tear someone down.

Today at lunch Nate's dad made a comment to him jokingly and Elam told him, "You just teared my dad down. Super friends watch what they say." After he complimented Nathan, Elam said, " that was good. you just built him up. " I just thought okay he is getting it. What a simple lesson my 5 year old child is getting which sometimes as an adult I can easily forget. We need to build each other up. It all goes back to the old saying your mom taught you, "If you don't have something nice to say, DON'T SAY IT!!!" Also, another thing I have learned (and am still working on) is before you say ANYTHING ask yourself: Is it kind? Is it necessary? Sometimes what you are going to say isn't really mean but it just doesn't need to be said. In that case just don't say it. People spend too much time talking and not enough time listening. We should have a limit like on twitter 140 words or less. lol.

After lunch and spending time with our amazing family we ran home to get Eden down for a nap. Then I had the privilege or helping my two boys (hubby and son) pack for their first ever father/son camping trip. This isn't like a boys scouts one or something where a bunch of people go. This was just my husband and just my son spending time together out in the wilderness (as Elam says). I have never seen a more excited 5 year old little boy or daddy for that matter. My husband was pulling away and saying I have dreamed of this my whole life.

I have had many phone calls throughout the night to tell me of every exciting first they have had. I have heard the glee in my son and husband as they described their first campfire, roasting hot dogs that were bigger than the bun, roasting marshmallows and making smores, going on walks under the full moon that is lighting up the camp site, talking to fishermen, tending to the fire, playing yard games and Elam winning, having a pillow fight, Elam drinking his first grape soda, and telling stories before bed in the tent. I had the honor of praying with them over the phone before bed and reminding Elam that everything he sees around him that he thinks is so beautiful was all created by God's word. He spoke everything into existence and that is why it is so important that super friends watch what they say. He said, "I know mom. Our words are very powerful." He said he looked at the stars and say a cross in the stars and knows that Jesus is there and watching over them.

Then I had the joy of hanging out with my mom and sweet 2 year old baby girl Eden. She ran from me at bed time yelling and giggling, "Mom, will never get me." As I caught her she laughed and laughed and said, "Mommy, you so funny." Then she had us tuck her in and sing MANY songs to her. After our prayers and one last kiss and hug, I went to finish folding the laundry. As I am folding laundry, I hear her singing to herself in her crib, "Jesus u my super herwo. You my staw. My bes fwen." That is when it hit me....I am blessed exceedingly, abundantly, above all I am able to ask or think.

This time last year I didn't know how I would go from day to day watching my kids grow up without their Poppy. Today I realize that even through a tragic loss I can still be blessed. God has good things for me. I will see my dad again someday and so will my kids but until then I will walk in God's blessings and recognize his blessings. You can't walk in his blessings if you don't recognize his blessings because you will never realize you are walking in them. So today I recognize that I am BLESSED! I walk in it and will continue to slow down and see the little things!

Love like no other

These are just a few things I am learning about God's love recently that I thought I would share. Hopefully it will help someone else too.

God's love is not an obligated love. It is not bound by a contract. God is a gentleman. He never forces his love on you. He loves you regardless of whether you love him or not. He chose you whether you choose him or not. His love is unconditional, full of forgiveness and grace. His love is selfless. His love is kind, compassionate, and thoughtful. He is passionate about you. He longs to bring you joy and keep your love tank overflowing. He takes pride in you. He LONGS for time with you. He wants to shower you in blessings and does not do things for you so that he can hold them over you and bring them up when it will benefit him. He is the ultimate listener, always concerned with your thoughts and feelings. His love is always consistent, never confusing, and he doesn't send mixed signals. His love never fails and never changes!

He doesn't love you because you deserve it and there is NOTHING you can do to deserve it. he will chase after you no matter how much you run, continually showing His love to you. His love is victorious! His love is powerful! His love is more than enough! His love is everything we need and everything we seek. His love should be everything we crave and look to when we feel empty. His love wins!

A birthday I will NEVER forget!

Okay so as my 30th bday is fast approaching (eek) I can not help but think about the one bday I will never forget.

I always thought maybe it would be my sweet 16, my 18th, my 21st (even though I don't drink, I just thought that one would be magical) or my 25th. While all of those were great....it was actually my 29th bday that I will never ever forget!

Last year was the last of my birthdays that I got to celebrate with my dad. That in and of itself makes it more special to me but it was something that my dad did that will forever be in my memory every year that I celebrate for the rest of my life.

Being from Texas and growing up on mexican food it only made sense that when my parents asked where I wanted to go for my birthday lunch, I picked Mi Ranchito :) My dad liked going to the old Mi Ranchito off of old 56 highway so I took the kids and we met my parents there for lunch.

My dad is a very giving person and always wanted to do whatever he could to show our armed forces that he appreciated their work (being ex navy and all.) Whenever he would go to a restaurant he always saw it as an opportunity to give back. He would look around and if he saw an elderly couple on a date or a service man for example, he would ask the waitress to bring him their ticket and he would anonymously pay for their meal and then instruct the waitress to tell them that God loves them and wanted to bless them today. Many times he wouldn't even stick around to see their reaction, he simply just wanted to be a blessing.

On this particular day we were celebrating my bday but once again my dad went in with his eyes open to someone in need and his ears open to hear God's voice. As we are sitting and enjoying the amazing food, an army soldier comes in and sits in the booth next to us by himself. My dad called the waitress over and said, "Can you bring me his ticket?" The waitress looked very confused, as I am sure that this is not a common request these days and said "sure." A few minutes later while continuing to enjoy our meal, another serviceman came in to join the one in the booth next to us. Mom and I looked at dad and he called the waitress over and said, "Go ahead and bring me his ticket too." The waitress again said sure and brought him the ticket after they placed their order. Pretty soon a couple more soldiers came in and sat at a different table. Mom and I kind of laughed and said, "Well are you going to get theirs too?" I looked at dad and said, "You better eat fast, what are you going to do if 10 more people come in" We kind of laughed and just kept eating.

Pretty soon 2 more people came in and joined the two next to us and 4 more came in and joined the others. When all was said and done their were 10 soldiers eating at 2 separate tables in the restaurant. Mom and I just laughed and looked at dad and said, "Well what are you going to do?" Dad called the waitress over and said "Mam, bring me their ticket and the ticket for that large table over there."

My cheap mexican food bday lunch ended up costing my dad over $100. We all laughed and said ok we better go before more people show up but dad was so happy to do it. He told the waitress to tell them that God wanted to bless them and thank you for your service. Then in true Roy Hinckley fashion, he got up and we left before he ever saw their reaction. He was so giving and caring, always looking for a way to bless someone and give back.

I never imagined celebrating my 30th bday without my dad and hero but I am so thankful for a 29th birthday that I will NEVER ever forget. It was one that will challenge me for the rest of my life!

Are you ears and eyes open to be a blessing to someone else? Are you a blessing to someone else just to get the immediate gratification of their reaction? Are you making every day a day that someone else will never forget?

Becoming Uncomfortable

January means a lot of different things for different people. Along with the new year come new year's resolutions. People often say they want to get in better shape, go on a diet, etc. The diet and exercise business is booming and gym memberships are always up in January. Every year some of the same people say I want to get healthier because they failed to do it the year before.

Many people go on a 21 day fast, sometimes corporately and sometimes just personally. Some fast certain foods or food all together. Some fast technology, such as TV, Facebook, Twitter, Video games, etc. Their focus is to take the time they would normally use doing these things and focus on God, to spend more time with Him without the distractions. Sacrificing their "comfort" foods for the things God naturally gave to us and remember who our creator is.

Now....I am a big fan of the biggest loser tv show and also worked for a chiropractor for a while who also specializes in nutrition. For those of you that know me, you know that I have never been a healthy eater. Growing up, the only vegetables I would eat were green beans, peas, and potatoes. The only fruit was bananas. Now not much has changed on the veggie side but I do eat almost all fruits now. I have expanded my pallet in other foods too and every time I go back home my family says, "wow you are such a good eater now" lol. I feel like I am 4 but it's still exciting because I know how far I've come.

One thing I have heard over and over from people starting diets, tv, doctors, etc. is Being healthy is not a "diet", it is a lifestyle change. Or how about this line, "you have to eat to live not live to eat" "you have to FEED your body so that it can run properly". While I have heard these countless times and they are all very true it has really been hitting home lately and taking on a different meaning.

I have been around so many people lately that are either fasting or dieting that I started to feel guilty eating the things they were giving up in front of them. The unhealthy things. They are making themselves better and I am continuing to enjoy the comforts. While enjoying these comforts, I have become uncomfortable by being around them, not because of anything they have done or said but simply by the choice they have made to live differently.

Throughout this month, with all of the fasting, diet and exercise talk, and people around me doing these things, here is where I have been challenged and what I have learned:

1. Getting healthy is not about a "diet" It is a LIFESTYLE change a lot like becoming a Christian is. Many people become "christians" and make a decision to follow Christ however, they do not want to give up their "comfort foods" so to speak. They want to hang out with the same people, party like they always have, not take time to read the Bible, etc. They don't become healthier, they are just comfortable and usually unhappy. Instead of looking in at themselves, they look out at Christ and say this isn't for me. I still have the same problems I had before and so this "christian" thing must not be real. They are yo-yo Christians. When times get tough they run to God or run away from him. When things are going great, its often not because God has blessed them but because of something they did. They fail to find Him in the success and thank Him for it. They are up and down like a yo yo dieter. They have failed to understand the key to success is that this is a LIFESTYLE change.

2. Now Fasting: Fasting is so important and really helps you focus on God but here is the problem I have with fasting. Shouldn't we be doing that everyday??? Many people do a 21 day fast at the beginning of the year to help them focus for the year and get all their ducks in a row. While I believe this is amazing, what about the other 344 days out of the year? Everyday we should be finding a way to set aside distractions to spend time with our creator. This is a LIFESTYLE change.

3. "You have to feed your body so it can run properly" applies in your spiritual life too. You have to feed your spirit with God's word so you can run properly the race set before you. God has a plan and purpose for each of our lives and if your spirit is anorexic you won't be able to properly accomplish all that God has for you. You will live below your destiny.

4. The reason I was becoming uncomfortable around those choosing to better themselves is because I wasn't choosing to better myself. That uncomfortableness has challenged me and made me want to be better. Those people did not have to say a word to me about what I was choosing. They never made me feel bad, they never condemned me, they didn't force their healthy habits down my throat but yet being around them and seeing them walk it out and the choices they were making made me want to be better. Isn't that how we as "christians" should be influencing others? We shouldn't have to say things to people all the time, force "God's Love" on them, condemn them, or judge them. They should just see us walk it out and the choices we are making are different than theirs and want to be better from just being around us. They should see the difference in our lives. They should see his Love through us without having to say a word. We should exude His Love everywhere we go, in our words, but more importantly in our actions.

Today I am on a journey to become more healthy in body and spirit. Today I will begin my LIFESTYLE change. I may not eat all my veggies right away but I will get there eventually. I will make changes everyday to better my lifestyle and exude love. I will make myself uncomfortable so that I can hopefully make others uncomfortable.

Accountability for your response

Here is my #3 thing I learned last year from my list I posted previously.

In dealing with offense.....One day we will all stand before God on the day of judgement and at that time, you will be judged on what YOU did. It will not matter what someone did to you and your reasons for your reaction. There will not be a time where you get to give an excuse or justify your actions. YOU WILL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR RESPONSE!

One day, my husband did something that offended me. I really don't remember what it was to be honest but I do remember complaining to God and being upset. Very strongly in my spirit, I felt he was saying, "how will you respond" He knows what happened to me and whether it was wrong or not God will be the judge of that someday but how I respond is what I will be judged on. Someday I will be held accountable for my response. We are to show mercy, forgiveness and love, and be a reflection of God's grace to others.

Now am I saying that if someone continually offends you, you should put yourself continually around them, no. You should put people around you that push you towards your goals. My goal is heaven and being closer to God while here on earth. So I am choosing to surround myself with people who push me in my relationship with God, who encourage me in love, believe in me, and who I can be the same for.

In 2011, I am choosing my friends more wisely, choosing to walk in love and forgiveness, and choosing my response more carefully.

Food for thought

There is a book out that I really want to buy and read called MADE TO CRAVE. I have heard a little about the book and it has really been stirring something up in me and I haven't even seen a word in it.

The book is about our God given desire to crave. Some people crave food, alcohol, drugs, love, etc. This book, I believe, mainly focuses on the food aspect but I have been thinking a lot about the other aspects in life.

During the time of my dad's failing health and since his passing, I at times have found myself "craving" certain comfort foods. Comfort foods for me are chips and rotel, fried foods, burgers and fries, and the ever popular chocolate or just sugar in general. There is something in your mind that is triggered by your emotions to crave certain comforts during times of stress. It's actually something that God put in us but when used incorrectly we turn to the foods, alcohol, drugs, love, etc. The reason God put this desire in us to crave is because He wanted us to turn to him during times of stress and crave Him. In doing so, he could fill us with what we are lacking. So many times we start to feel the stress of life, emotions we don't want to face, faults we see in ourselves, problems with family members, work, etc. and we immediately turn to something to help us "relax", "de-stress", "enjoy ourselves." We often justify it by saying I am going through a lot right now or I deserve this when all along God is calling us to him and we are rejecting him.

Some people may look at this and say I am not overweight, getting drunk, sleeping with people, etc. but what they are doing is turning to the wrong things for stress relief. If you are "cooking up some rotel", having a glass of wine to "relax", or dating someone new take a look at "why" you are really doing it. Do not justify your actions but instead figure out where that craving is coming from. Discover the person who put that desire for peace in you. Next time I feel stressed and I start to reach for that chocolate bar, I may just reach for my Bible instead.

Food for thought :)

If you change the rules in the middle of the game, there can't be a winner

Another thing I learned in 2011 has to do with board games. Keep reading, it will change your life :)

The discover as you go: Have you ever opened a new board game and you tell someone to read the rules and they read some and then say okay well let's just play and we will learn as we go? As you go along and start to get ahead, it always seems like they then "discover" a rule and somehow you have a set back. By the end of the game and all of the "discoveries" someone wins but someone else may feel slighted and like really they should have won. They may something like, "well that was fun" all the while knowing they probably will never play again and if they do they will make sure and know the rules the first time so it will be fair and fun for everyone.

House Rules: Have you ever played a game that maybe you have played with your family but now you are playing at a friends house and they have their own rules they follow that you have never heard of before. It can be very confusing and not seem right at times because you grew up playing this game a certain way, the same way, every time?

Playing with a 4 year old: Have you ever played a game that you know how to play, have played before, and has standard rules? A game like monopoly or sorry but someone changes the rules mid way through to benefit themselves? Maybe I am just competitive but when that happens, I really just don't want to play anymore. They get upset because they are losing so they change the rules to benefit themselves. What is the point, if they just want to win then let them win and go home. I can do that with my 4 year old. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe their parents always let them win as kids when playing games.

(Side Note: This may sound cruel or harsh but when I play board games with Elam, I do not let him win. If I win or his dad wins, we have taught him that he is to be excited for us, shake our hands or high five and tell us congratulations. If he wins, we do the same. I explain to him before we begin the game that he will not always win and that is okay but we should be excited for the winner anyway.)

Okay so back to my point.....If you have ever had any of the top three things happen to you while playing a game with someone, you will understand the lesson I learned. All of this relates to relationships, whether it is your marriage, friendships, relationships with siblings, children, or parents.

There has to be some sort of "rules" set up from the beginning to be a success or there will never be a winner. When I say rules, I mean a level of respect for one another. Maybe your friend doesn't like being late to things and you are always late. Make it a priority to be on time when you meet them somewhere instead of saying, "well they know how I am and if they are really my friend they will understand" Go the extra mile yourself.

Just like playing a new game you have to learn the rules, take time to learn about your friends, their likes and dislikes, etc. and make efforts to be a better friend to them. Don't make up rules mid way through and come out of left field with something.

Let's go back to each scenario and I will try and explain it a little better:

The discover as you go: Sometimes in relationships (especially marriage) you get into them not knowing the person completely. You have to learn as you go on somethings just like you may read some of the rules and learn as you go. As you start to "discover" new things (rules) about this person you have to adjust your relationship (game) and their has to be a compromise on the new discovery. Otherwise the discovery of the new rule will only benefit one side. This will lead to resentment, anger, a feeling of not wanting to play the game anymore. You will end up with a closed off partner because they will be afraid of what other new rules you may discover. Compromise and communication is key.

House Rules: Everyone knows about house rules in board games but what about in relationships. When you get married you are bringing two households together. It is not just a marriage between two people but two families. Have you ever heard people say things like "well that's not how I was raised," or "when I was growing up..." We have all been raised differently and now must find a way to mesh these things together to make our relationship a success. Maybe you grew up in a "old fashioned" house where the wife took care of the cooking, cleaning, kids, etc and the husband did all of the yard work, working outside the home, etc. Maybe your spouse grew up in a house where his mom took care of the yard work. These seem like unimportant details but I guarantee you there have been arguments over this very thing in a relationship somewhere. Maybe its not something physical or tangible, maybe its a habit or trait you have picked up from your father/mother that doesn't sit well with your spouse. Maybe you find yourself using the excuse, "I don't know how else to handle it. This is all I have ever seen." While this is true, you now have your own house and can make your own house rules. This is the only opportunity you have to change the rules so take a look at your life and adjust your house rules to benefit your house no matter how you are "used to" playing.

Playing with a 4 year old: This is the type of person who always wants to win and come out on top. They are not really interested in the game but the feeling of the win. They probably are very confrontational, easily offended, and cause many offenses. They do not really care about the rules because rules don't really apply to them. They can change them at any time to better suit their needs and they have been taught that everyone else will change around them to help them succeed. Life is all wins and no losses. -----(record scratch) WRONG!!! Life is about winning and losing. Sometimes you lose but in those losses you are really the winner. You can not learn the things you need to learn by winning all the time. These people have no concept of reality and WILL NOT change through your assistance. They have to see the problem first and want to make a change on their own. There is nothing you can do for them but love them and keep your distance. Do not expect great acts of kindness or selflessness from these types of people. Remember you are playing with a 4 year old. Tell them congratulations and move on.

You are the company you keep.

In 2010 I learned many things so for the next few days I am going to share some of them with you. Hopefully they might help you to have a better 2011.

Here are the top things I learned this year. I will list them and then each time I blog over the next several days I will expand on one of them.

1. You are the company you keep.

2. If you change the rules in the middle of the game, there can't be a winner

3. Accountability for your response.

4. Walking out the 2 greatest commands

5. Serving and Loving one another unconditionally

So let's get started.

YOU ARE THE COMPANY YOU KEEP.

Here is what I mean. Have you ever worked with or been around someone who is extremely negative about everything? You could be the most positive person in the world but if you are around them, eventually you will start becoming more negative. It won't happen all at once. First, you will try and be positive around them hoping that they will start to be positive. (It might work but chances are these type of people are either surrounding themselves with negative people or they have always been this way and don't see the problem). Next, when your efforts do not work, you will become angry and irritated at this person and every negative comment that flows from their mouths will start to work your nerves. Finally, their negativity will so annoy you that you will begin to complain about them and become negative towards them or having to be around them. The more time you spend with these types of people the more negative you will start to become and the more people you will start to annoy :)

That is just one example. Here are a few that I am choosing to distance myself from in 2011. Selfishness, Complainers, Negative Nancy, and the one uppers. Instead I will choose to hang out with people who inspire me with their selflessness and acts of kindness towards others, people who encourage me towards the things of God, people who see the cup half full and see the possibility of it overflowing, and people who are excited for the good and blessings that come to me and lift me up during the hard times.

Selfishness is such an ugly thing. It says 'I am most important here, my feelings, and my life. I am looking out for me first and then if I have anything left I will give it to you on my terms." The problem with selfishness is that most selfish people don't even see their selfishness, so for them to ever want to change is almost impossible because they don't recognize the problem. Selfishness hurts others and can cause other people to become selfish.

I have a friend named Lisa who consistently inspires me to be more selfless. When my dad became terminally ill, Lisa took it upon herself to contact other moms to prepare meals to bring to us so we had one less thing to worry about. We had meals everyday for weeks. I have seen her take jewelry that she is wearing and give it away, collect baby items to give to pregnant teen moms, and the list goes on and on. She is constantly doing something for someone else and inspiring those around her. If I hang out with more people like that, I am going to want to give more, inspire more, love more.

If you want to become more successful at a certain trade then hang out with people who are in that trade and are successful. If you want to become more financially stable then surround yourself with those type of people. If you want to become a better mom/parent then hang out with someone who you think is doing a great job.

It's like in kindergarten when the teacher asks you "what do you want to be when you grow up?". Figure out what you want to be. It doesn't have to be an occupation ie. doctor or lawyer but a more creative fun loving mom, more compassionate, selfless, more encouraging, spend more time in prayer, physically fit, etc. Find those people and surround yourself with them.

Now am I saying don't hang out with people who are not where you want to be, no absolutely not. That would not be walking in love either. All I am saying is the selfish, complaining, negative type of people should only be around in spurts. You can only pull someone up so much. It's a law of gravity. Eventually those people will pull you down. You are the company you keep. This year keep good company.